Welcome to the Sugary Scoop, my free weekly newsletter where we help you see and experience the magic of NYC that I love so much through curated events, experiences, artists, and community stories.

Let’s get to this week’s Scoop!

A couple things to share in this edition…

First, we’re looking for a social media maven to help us launch our new Instagram, @SugaryNYC.

We’re starting from zero followers but we’ve got a few things working in our favor.

- 19K newsletter subscribers.
- 7.8K on @TheSugaryman.
- 2K on @startswithdk.

And a handful of IG influencer friends across NYC who also believe in building community-led content and are ready to help us spread the word.

The plan is simple.
A 30-day sprint to bring @SugaryNYC to life through three types of content:
newsletter highlights, event recaps, and podcast clips from The Sweet & Salty Podcast

We’re putting this out to our community to see if anyone feels inspired to join us in building our digital home.

Something that reflects the real-world magic we’ve been creating here in NYC.

It’s worked out before… so maybe Lady Luck’s on our side again.

If this sounds like you, or someone you know, reply to this email!

And that brings me to our second update…

We just recorded our first episode of the podcast!

And we feel it went pretty well. 

Honestly I think I could get used to this rhythm.  It felt really natural for me and as for DK…well he’s getting used to it let’s just say :-).

Special shout out to the newest addition to our team, our podcast producer Irma Kurtanidze who came to us from within the Sugary Community.

Irma had first attended our epic summer picnic back in 2023 through a friend and was encouraged to subscribe to our newsletter.  

She’d been following our updates ever since then and when we made it known we were going to be starting a podcast, Irma reached out and expressed how much she enjoyed the newsletter.

She further added that if we needed any help with putting the podcast together, this was her wheelhouse and she just happened to have some time to dedicate to something worthwhile and felt our community really fit that bill.

It was like mana from heaven.

Because the thing is…neither DK and I are podcast producers.  ChatGPT only gets you so far and after that what you really need is experience to steer this ship more effectively.

We’re super grateful for what Irma brings to the table both in terms of her experience as well as her honest yet agreeable demeanor.

DK and I can’t wait to start sharing the episodes with you once we get a bunch of them in the can and hope you enjoy the ride along with us.

Be chatting soon!

THE SUGARY EFFECT

The Epistemology of Friendship, Evolved (Part 3 of 3)

Through all the self reflection experienced during my recovery process, perhaps the most profound revelation was that my notion of being completely impervious or immune to the repercussions of an unhealthy lifestyle was the greatest act of legerdemain I pulled on myself.

In my quest to serve my community and to serve my friends, I forgot to serve the most important element of this equation…

…myself.

All those events I obligated myself towards, all the favors I did for those I knew (whether they had earned it or not), all the sheer effort put towards maintaining connection at whatever cost may have provided the foundation for the community and the newsletter readership I have today, but it came at a terrible price.

I had to come to terms with the fact that my best efforts to serve others was shrouded in the backdrop of something far more sinister…

…self-abandonment.

I gave of myself until I had nothing left to give and then I went scraping the barrel trying to give more.

On the surface everything looked relatively fine and if you ran any favorite quote about humanity such as, “it’s far better to give than to receive” or “real wealth isn’t measured by what you have but by what you are” it’d probably check out.

From a certain angle it was true, but the fact is behind the scenes, I was drowning and running on fumes to the point where my body finally just gave in and said ENOUGH.

Hard reset, Full stop. (No warranty)

There, in the uncomfortable isolation of an ICU hospital bed, there were no events I could attend, no one I could connect with, no proverbial bat signal I could answer.

Hell, I was so powerless I couldn’t even get out of bed to take a piss.

My ability to do anything for anyone went to absolute 0.  

I even missed my newsletter deadline for the first time since the newsletter began.

It was truly humbling just how incapacitated I had become in such a blink of an eye.

I realized that if I didn’t make some serious life changes, I wouldn’t have a life to enjoy for much longer and my recklessness placed everything I had worked so hard to build in jeopardy because of my blatant disregard for taking care of myself first.

Coming out of this experience on the other side meant serious lifestyle changes, setting better boundaries, and greater discernment on who and what I gave my time and energy to.

What does that actually mean in concrete terms?  

• It means a more responsible diet. 

I don’t need to be a monk, but no more eating whatever I want whenever I want at whatever quantity I want.  The days of being a food dumpster are over. Same goes for alcohol…everything in moderation if even at all.

• It means longer periods of rest.

No more stealing sleep on subway cars in-between events and meetings as a “legitimate” means of rest. Supplemental at best to the 6-8 hours I need every night.

• It means dedicated exercise. 

Movement IS life.  As a dancer I somehow lost sight of this.  Time to literally take new steps toward my health.

• It means therapy. 

What can I say, as a person who is very self-reflective, I thought I could figure it all out on my own…I can’t.  The jig is up. Bring out the couch…

• It means no longer oversubscribing my commitments. 

I don’t need to be everywhere all the time. People will be fine without me, especially those whose events I’ve shown love and support for in the past. Those who really care about me know what’s in my heart anyways.

• It means focusing more of my effort on people who have earned it. 

Not everything or everyone out there deserves my attention, not by a longshot, and I don’t say that as an act of ego, but as an act of self-preservation.

• It means knowing I don’t have to prove anything to anyone.

My long-established work and reputation speak volumes. I need to trust in that and if people don’t care enough to look into it…they don’t deserve to know. That’s their loss.

• It means setting a better example for my community.

Unless I plan to lead my community into an early grave, maybe my messaging needs to include a more sustainable approach to connection. This bit of nuance can make all the difference.

No one deserves greater care from me than myself. 

I’ll say it again for the people in the back:

No one deserves greater care from me than myself. 

To reclaim my health would be the first step, but ultimately in the end, perhaps the end goal is actually to reclaim something greater…a greater sense of self-respect.

I deserve that much at least.

Years from now, I’ll look back on my Google calendar and there will be a very conspicuous several weeks starting mid-August in 2025 that exhibited a remarkable clearing amidst the congestion of the remainder of the year.

It’ll be a reminder of the moment my life changed forever, a turning of the tide towards a healthier way of being.

I once asked DK when he would feel I had truly persevered in this challenge, and he told that the moment he gets a sense that I’m spending more time working on myself than working on others will be the moment that he’s convinced I’ve truly made the necessary changes that’ll allow me to build community sustainably so that it can endure well beyond my years…years that will be lived in a happier and healthier manner.

Now that is something worth working towards.

🍬 Sugary

NOTABLE NYC EVENTS, HAND-PICKED BY SUGARY

Welcome to the inaugural edition of The Sweet List—our newly standardized events newsletter built with complete with a color-coded Trust System, clear Time & Place formatting, crystal-clean social-battery icons, concise one-line value props, bite-sized “Your People” profiles, Free 🆓/Ticketed 🎟️ markers, and curated experience icons to help you zero in on the perfect vibe.

PAST EVENTS…

10/22 Rising Tide Collective - 8 of you joined us for the third installment of this series to generate tangible support for our community at large who are building all types of wonderful projects.  For me this intimate series has served as a great way for not only each of the projects to gain support but also helps build community through the act of radical reciprocity both in terms of velocity and concrete progress. This latest iteration was no exception.

AND DON’T SAY I DIDN’T TELL YOU ABOUT…

Otaku Choir

When you think of the idea of choruses, immediately thoughts of Handel’s Messiah, Bach’s St. Matthew’s Passion or Mozart’s requiem may come to mind or if you went a more Broadway route iconic songs from Les Mis, Book of Mormon or Rent rush to our memory.

But what about Anime? How about old Asian folk songs?  Perhaps Super Smash Brothers?

Not exactly the usual source material  one might expect to discover incredible choral masterpieces from and yet there is a rich lexicon of selections that have made their way into the background soundtracks of some of our most beloved animated films, classic Asian standards, and video games.

Welcome to the realm of Otaku choir.

Founded by classically trained director Johnathan Gibbs, the choir seeks to celebrate AAPI heritage and, “bring people together through the joy of choral music, creating a fun and inclusive space to honor the artistry of otaku and AAPI culture alike”

What is Otaku might you ask?  

Basically anyone with an intense enthusiasm for some subject such as computers, video games, or anime and manga.

The choir is reclaiming the term and this organic enthusiasm is what Gibbs harnesses into an all volunteer choir where its diverse members overcome a massive wait list, auditions and pay dues for the privilege of participating in this remarkable communion of song celebrating the intersection of Asian as well as pop culture.

I had the pleasure of attending one of Otaku choir’s inaugural performances and I gotta say it was quite entertaining. 

As an Asian, a serial gamer and a lover of all things Anime, I marveled at how many selections brought back a delightful flood of memories from my earlier years.

Even for the uninitiated, Gibbs provides a very thoughtful and diverse selection meant to provide a little something for everyone listening and there’s a good chance you’ll recognize something that you didn’t even necessarily realize you knew.

The program has songs that span multiple languages (4 by my count Chinese, Korean, Japanese and Tagalog at the performance I attended) which I thought the choir was gonna struggle with until I saw audience members of each culture giving their approval with enthusiastic applause.

It’s really quite unique and just the kind of thing you’d expect to emerge in NYC.

So whether you have a final fantasy, are in fact a K-pop demon hunter or want to wax nostalgic with a rendition of Mo Li Hua, please do yourself a favor and check out Otaku Choir. 

And perhaps…just perhaps you might find yourself becoming the new, otaku you.

Connect IRL. Experience Fabrik.

Get in touch with NYC’s brightest communities and make new friends.

Fabrik is a home for communities and where everyone has a place to belong. With spaces designed to feel more like your living room than your office, Fabrik’s 'third spaces' are vibrant hubs where you can come together in real life, explore interests, forge meaningful connections, and enjoy a sense of community.

Sign-up here to experience a free trial at Fabrik.

Weekly events at Fabrik HERE

Othership

Othership offers immersive sauna and ice bath experiences that help human beings feel good now. A sanctuary for social self-care to move you from city buzz to inner calm.

Dive into the largest performance saunas in North America, experience otherworldly ice bath spaces and connect in an intimate amphitheater-style tea lounge surrounding a cozy fire place for socializing.

Expect towel-waving performances, aromatherapy, guided breathwork, visualizations, and somatic release to help you shift your state and regulate your emotions, in a world that can’t be regulated.

The founders of Othership have gifted us a New York 2 for 1 Deal. Get yours while they last!