🍬 Sugary Scoop: The Fatality of Assumptions

Welcome to the Sugary Newsletter by yours truly.  🎉 😊

🍬The Scoop 🍬

• WHAT’S NEW?

• THE SUGARY EFFECT

• PAST EVENTS

• UPCOMING EVENTS

• AND DON’T SAY I DIDN’T TELL YOU ABOUT…

• ARTIST SPOTLIGHT

WHAT’S NEW?

Establishing a Community Membership Model 

So, as I mentioned briefly in my previous entry, I’m pleased to elaborate a bit more on our membership program within our community. 🎉

Over the holiday season, and throughout much of January, DK and I took stock of everything that we had accomplished and realized that in order for this to be something that’s actually sustainable we needed to come up with a basic model to support that goal.

We busted out our whiteboards and really drilled down into what makes our community special.

Why would people want to be a part of this community when there are so many…and I mean SO many options out there?

The conclusion that we came to is that our approach is different in how it approaches the concept of community fundamentally.

Unlike most other communities that place a premium on status and titles in all their various forms and strata, our community thrives on organic vibe, quality experiences and the character of its members.

(A recent article posted on Robb Report cited a scathing report from GlassHouse Research which drew the prediction that the long established Soho House membership communities are in imminent peril due to diluting the exclusive experience and decline in service quality for their members.)

If the idea is to cultivate a safe space for people to meet and connect in a genuine way through quality experiences and without the pretense of narcissistic exclusivity, then that is precisely where DK and I want to focus on.

Here’s how we plan on doing that with our members:

• Create “camp fire” vibe events that allow people to be vulnerable and supported.

• Host professional and hobby workshops where members can teach, learn and grow.

• Create sub-communities around your favorite activities (sports, wellness, art, music etc).

• Host weekend get-aways and retreats for much needed breaks from the city.

• Find opportunities to serve the greater NYC community together.

In addition, we’re establishing a platform that will better serve our community including a online forum for members of the community looking for anything from housing, to jobs, to local events, to selling household items, and more along with a comprehensive member directory to give you resources and warm intros.

However, in order to do that, we felt there was a certain need to cultivate a community that believes in what we are building and is willing to support this vision in a modest but tangible way.

In turn, we’ve developed this basic membership structure to help protect and advance the core focus while marshaling the necessary resources to enhance the overall experience of our community.

If you resonate with the ethos of the sugary community and have enjoyed the experiences we've meticulously curated thus far, we invite you to join the waitlist:

When will we launch the membership community?

We don’t have an exact date but we would like to launch it sometime in the Spring of this year.

We will be kicking things off when we’ve found a select group of 40-50 individuals who are dedicated to building this alongside us, because, at the end of the day, this is all for you.

This is your opportunity to delve into our upcoming endeavors and contribute to the foundation of a community committed to nurturing connections through authentic experiences and good vibes.

THE SUGARY EFFECT

On Relationships (Part 2): The Fatality of Assumptions.

How many of you have heard these general questions echoing in your mind from time to time when reaching out to people?

🤔 "Why isn't so and so responding?"

😕 "How come it's so hard to get a response back?"

🤷‍♂️ "Did I do something wrong?"

I have an old friend who lives across the country from me and our interactions amount to an occasional check-in now and then. It’s really the best we could manage.

At some point my reach outs were greeted with silence. At first, I didn’t think much of it, but as the months drew longer, my feelings of insecurity surrounding the relationship began to intensify and I asked all those questions above.

Rather than react in a negative way, I just chalked it up to the fact that my friend was probably dealing with something, I mean I had no way of knowing, but I decided to maintain a basic level of upkeep with a birthday wish and an occasional text just to let them know I hadn’t forgotten.

Then out of the blue, I received a text from my friend.

It was to tell me how much they were sorry they’d been out of touch. As it turned out, the sickness of a close loved one had consumed their entire life and managing that entire episode was beyond their ability to cope.

Yet throughout it all, they were always grateful that I was consistent in expressing my consistent care while tempering my expectations for reciprocation during that time.

We are still friends to this day and speak more frequently than we ever have.

For most of us, we live our lives in a relative bubble. Our awareness of things extends a short proximity beyond what we experience day to day and much of it exists referenced against our own version of reality.

We’d like to think that we have an indomitable grasp of what’s happening in the lives of those we care about but the long and short of it is…we don’t.

Not even close.

We might have a general narrative and for some of our closest relationships we might be read-in more than most, but the intricacies of our day to day struggles are largely endured in anonymity and the peaks and valleys of it are as unpredictable to say the least.

Why do I say this?

Because in our interactions, the natural tendency is to assume “we know” and when we reach out in an attempt to connect and don’t receive the response we expect, we end up creating all kinds of stories in our mind as to why that is.

Expectations clouded by imagined outcomes.

And often times the end result is…

Our feelings are hurt.

When we get into this kind of funk, it’s hard to step outside of that experience because we’re living with it and the feeling of it is inescapably real.

However, if you were able to take a small step back for a moment and take a breath, you’d realize that the business of life is MESSY, and most people, despite what they project, are managing a reality that you have no clue about and often times they are barely hanging on.

To have this realization is to have the perspective that the act of developing a relationship and/or keeping in touch with someone will forever be a work in progress.

Furthermore, it demonstrates that real connection requires patience, understanding and a little faith, knowing that the road is long, often unpredictable, but worth the adventure.

If you can make peace with that and offer grace to the process of connecting with someone, more often than not, you’ll find gratitude and respect on the other side of it.

PAST EVENTS

Lunar New Year Happy Hour - Feb 6th - Over 50 of you came out to celebrate the year of the dragon at Hidden Tiger as we tended to our good fortune in good company and received blessings in the form of lottery tickets and quirky tongue-in-cheek fortunes.

Super Bowl Party - Feb 11th - SWELCE all the way! (Sorry DK…better luck next time for the Niners) nearly 70 of you joined us for an epic game and an epic display of Usher’s abs during the halftime show. It was an incredible evening of amazing company and revelry of the sporting sort!

UPCOMING EVENTS

Feb. 15th 7:00pm TONIGHT (Soho) - Post Modern Love Event - An intimate evening of amazing company with the singular aim of promoting deeper connections with fascinating people. _{(Social Battery Level: MEDIUM Extrovert - Crowd Size 40-50)}

Feb. 22nd 6:30pm (LES) - Sake & Sounds Event - Partnering with newly opened BBF cafe, join us for an evening of guided sake tasting with our own sake sommelier paired with exquisite tunes from BBF’s resident DJ that’ll for sure be a vibe _{(Social Battery Level: HIGH Extrovert - Crowd Size 50-70)}

_{(Space is very limited for each of these events so if you’d like to attend to any of these events, please hit the RSVP button below sooner than later!)}

AND DON’T SAY I DIDN’T TELL YOU ABOUT…

Sake & Sounds

The folks behind Samurai Mama (and Papa) have a new project. Opening its doors for the first time, BBF has become LES’s newest sake bar and Japanese Izakaya.

Beyond the abundant offerings of delectable bites and a well selected sake list, the folks at BBF have partnered with yours truly to launch a limited series called Sake and Sounds.

The premise is sublime; establish a semi-regular event series that highlights sake connoisseurship paired with smooth soulful sounds for a relaxed evening in good taste and always good company.

BBF has invited a sake sommelier in residence to guide attendees through flights of sake tastings while complementing the experience with an assortment of a specially designed menu of Kyoto style obanzai (appetizer assortment).

The evening will feature an incredible DJ spinning chill vibes in the flavorful tradition of soul, funk, r&b and light hip hop.

Give them a follow on IG!

ARTIST SPOTLIGHT

Peter Tunney

Bold. Rebellious. Poignant.

Words alone carry their proportional meaning. But words presented with visually-arresting panache convey SO much more.

Such is the nature of Peter Tunney’s incomparable work. The amazingly accomplished artist, who splits his time between NYC and Miami is as prolific as he is ubiquitous.

His work is unmistakable and hits you with the force of a freight train barreling towards you at a hundred miles per hour. And it’s all by design…meant to make you think and reflect on a simple message with profound implications if you read between the lines.

I first met Peter through the Summit community and we hit it off instantly with zero pretense as is befitting of his non-nonsense approach to art and life.

Clearly an artist that marches to the beat of his own drum and commands the attention of anyone who would hear his rhythm.

Well I’m certainly sold, and I think it’s only a matter of time before you are too.

Gratitude (iconic piece)

The Time is Always Now (lesser known piece)

Home (newest piece)

Check out Peter’s Empathy T-Shirt

Thank you for taking the time to read to the end!

I hope you found something inspiring and meaningful in my content and until next time, explore the possibilities of NYC.

-Sugary

🍰🍭🍩🍦🍫🍪🍨🧁

PS. Don’t be shy and hit reply and tell me how you’re doing!